20101231

The way I am, thats why Im bad ~

sebenarnya semalam lepas balik dari rumah Kero, I went to The Mines with SuperHero. Kero was right, always. masa balik dia cakap, "mesti dia ada nanti" (sebab selalu dia akan muncul tanpa signal dan kebetulan berlaku) and bila aku keluar lalu depan j3 ada motor datang and it was him. kau pun boleh jadi sotong Paul lah Khai HAHA 


Him. everyone must be suprised bila tahu siapa dia. entah. aku pun bukan kenal dia sangat. I know him as the somebody-in-the-school. I never talk to him. and I never interested to talk about him (as I do not know anything about him). He is older than me (setahun je). em then. entah. tak tahu nak bagitau apa pasal dia.


We met and get to know each other masa kawad kaki. As I am the girl yang tak-tahu-malu main redah aci je suruh dia treat me an ice cream. actually he was offering to a girl and I was "weh aku pun nak jugak" and yet dia belikan HAHA. then habis kawad, habislah semua. I never knew about him anymore. 


I live my life happily, alone and like usual. I keep on working for my Pengakap Diraja, ulang alik Bangi, go tusyen at Cheras, went back home when the night is so dark (very late you know). And every Sunday I will spend my time alone at Jusco Cheras Selatan where one day I meet him at the parking with his friend and I say "Hi". that's all. (eh kenapa rasa nak nangis bila ingat ni sobs3)


Mens proposes God disposes. and then one day when I was walking in the mall looking for my gaymate, Zakiah aka Z, he poke me. And I was like, "Oh hi, wht are you doing? where's Z?" he said that she work there and show me where is Z. then he asked for my phone number as he had text me but I didn't replied. Oh suprise gila. When he text me? and why I didn't reply? but then I know what is the answer. I never care incoming messege unless the reply one. hoho. then we get separated.


Starting from the day, I often saw him. means KEBETULAN. means ON THE ROAD. he is on his motor while I'm on mine (oh peliknya language). sampai tak boleh kira dah berapa kali terjumpa. everything like, em was fated. but I never care. lepas dekat 10 kali (kot) bertembung, he follow me. sampai rumah. betul ni. tak tipu. then dia text, perempuan tak elok balik rumah tengah2 malam lagi2 nak SPM ni. oh I was like okey, Hafiz ever told me before -.-


Then I wanna buy a futsal shoe. He ever told me that Al- Ikhsan ada buat sale. Masa tu dekat sekolah, ada meeting Hari Guru. Ingat nak pergi lepas meeting dinner sekali kat Pizza. Fyi, since aku pindah sekolah, mostly aku buat benda sendiri. HAHA I told him, saje. nak buat dia jealous kot. haha. then he said he wanna follow me sebab dia dekat sekolah jugak. so aku pun okay. that was our first day out. tak rancang pun. tak special pun. keluar beli kasut, makan pizza, balik.


hmm aku pun tak ingatlah macam mana boleh jadi serapat begini sekarang. haha. dia ingat kot. aku bukan pengimbau-paling-kuat-ingatan pun. Bukan senag nak terima dia. Banyak onak dan duri yang DIA kena lalui. HAHA nama pun SuperHero kan. Pernah aku cakap kat dia, "Weh kau blah la, suka sibuk dgn life aku. selama ni aku buat sorang je takda org heran" but he never move back. aku pernah kena attack dengan girl sebab dia. thought I was her girlfriend. she said aku perampas as she loves him so much. perang besar aku tau. bukan dgn that girl sbb aku tak respon pun. then I figure out yang dorang tak couple pun just BFF. 


I would like to thank to that girl, because of her attitude, because she attacked me, we're getting closer. I can't say more. HAHA. the McDonalds jadi saksi. aku pun cuba terima dia sikit - sikit walaupun selalu menolak.


He was like a Big Brother for me. I owe him much. every single thing I want to do, where I wanna go, he should know (and follow from the back). My parents know him. Mama and Abah too. Mama want us to be together. HAHA. big joke! LOL


All I wanna say, I am sorry for my bad behaviour before. I am trying to change for us, but penjenayah besar macam memang susah nak ubah. I tried my very best, but I always fail. I don't know how you can handle this thing wisely. You never give up or get angry eventhough you told Mama that you're 'PEMARAH'. but I am still trying. Thanks for being every time where I need you without fail. I don't know how you could do that. HAHA


earthlings, sorry sebab this post agak jiwang. do not read it. HAHA. tak memasal jadi typical kejap. but I was a bit hmm disturbed of my own attitude. He is kind but I was the one yang always spoil everything. Tahulah kan aku macam mana dengan lelaki kan kan. I never expect that aku pun akan terjebak dengan hal sebegini. poor him. memang rugilah awak. and the past thing still on the memory, so I am very phobia with all this thingy.


adess. serius rasa touching gila ni. rasa macam nak Khairin. tak pun Mama. HUHU. kenapalah rumah kita jauh? HUHU


to SuperHero ; for your information, I am not log out yet as you tell me to do so. for your information I was emm. sulking just now that is why I told you that I wanna sleep, but the truth is I DON'T WANT TO MAKE YOU SAD AGAIN. I don't want to spoil anything anymore. I am sorry. but this is Naquiah. dia suck kan. such a jerk. tak dengar cakap. too bad. okay. see you.

that's all. I need a pillow to spill all this mess. sobs3 what a long night-to-be. Salam.

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